no. i didn't have a sudden epiphany and decide to start worshipping jesus. but i'm pretty happy worshipping idols and what nots, and bruning paper (even if it's destroying the environment). thank you very much. the above title is a quote. a quote from 2 boys who are dying from muscle anthropy. (is that the correct spelling? the one where the muscles in the body slowy breaks down.. i think). or judging by the age of the docu. i'd think it might be safe to assume that they may have passed on already.

watching and hearing them say reply that to the question of what will happen to them when they're 18. it struck a chord. their reply, honest and sincere, and with smiles brought back memories. they know that they are going die, and are so matter of fact abt it. and they have chosen such a nice way to deal with it, to talk abt it. and when asked abt what will happen to their mom, if when they had went to say hi to god, she wld be alone. how wld they communicate with her. and they said, well.. we'll give her our best wishes. and how wld they do that? send her dreams they said. simple words and yet.. as i watched i nearly cried.

these 2 lovely chinese boy (they're twins) made me remember the time when i heard my daddy said to a fren who called him on his hp (obviously the fren asked how he was doing) and he just replied matter of factly, no good. i'm dying. and as i stood there listening to him, i resisted the urge to run home, breakdown and cry. it was only after a while of spending time with him, did i excuse myself and ran back home and cried my eyes out. my mom found me hunched over my laptop.... and i just didn't understand why he cld have said it with such firmness. like he already accepted it. (granted it wasn't much we cld have donw as he was in the final stages). but i'm idealistic, at that time, i thot 'yeah.. i'm sure thingys aren't that bad. he's going to get better' but he didn't.

i think, people who are facing certain death.. they seem to see things clearer. (kan tou hong chen, if that's the correct chen yu to use) and they seem to have this strength abt them, to keep themselves going and to keep others around them going.

not only that, as i watched on, the twins received painful chinese medical and pysio treatments. and yet, as they went through that, they didn't once scream out loud in pain, or cry. and that, as well, remind me of how my daddy used to bear the pain. he was so good at bearing with it, that it sometimes escaped me that he was in constant pain due to his swollen limbs and stomach. like i said, they have strength. mentally and physically, they wld bear whatever pain they experienced. just to make others feels better around them.